Reports have recently been coming in of a new plot by bears to bring an end to human domination of the planet.
Bears have been giving bad advice to young men in relationships in order to hook up with hot human chicks for greasy but non-procreative sex.
Timmy Mildewbeet had planned for a traditional prom night. "I did everything the bears told me to do" he cried in anguished tones. "I got drunk, I yelled and cussed, but then when I came out of the dance she was playing the two backed beast with a Montana Grizzly in the back of the limo."
Government officials at the Dr. Ruth Bear and Sex Center in Peoria Illinois have issued a blanket statement to men worldwide. "While we know that chicks think bears are hot, you must not assume that the relationship advice they are giving you is going to help you score"
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